When a Spouse Turns Violent

While many couples who struggle trying to get along with each other may argue at times, some relationships can turn violent. If your spouse starts exhibiting violent behavior, there are things you can do to help yourself. Violence in a relationship can be committed by both men and women. Here are some warning signs and ways to cope if your spouse becomes violent.

Facts About Spousal Violence


Warning Signs

Most abusive relationships don't start out that way, but there are often warning signs. Some of them will progress faster than others. Partners who may turn abusive sometimes demonstrate red flags in the beginning of the relationship. They may have controlling tendencies and want to know where you are and what you're doing at all times. They may also show extremely jealous behavior in situations that are innocent.

Escalating Conflict

Conflicts tend to escalate quickly in an abusive relationship and arguments may get more intense and more frequent with a violent spouse. At first, some violent spouses aim to scare their significant others by yelling or throwing things. Then, these dramatic arguments may start to turn physical. Violent spouses sometimes get angry at seemingly minor incidents while their partners tend to live in fear much of the time.

Shame and Fear

People who live with a violent spouse may feel trapped, ashamed, and fearful for their safety. There are resources out there for victims to get help. If you fear for your life, there are shelters for women and children that can offer a safe place to stay. A domestic violence lawyer knows how to access resources to protect victims and can help with representation for protective order hearings and divorce proceedings.

Relationships Should Be Equal


At the key of any happy relationship is a sense of equality. You and your partner should demonstrate respect, honesty, and trust toward each other. Abusive relationships often create a situation of inequality, with the abuser holding all of the power over the other person. If you or someone you know is in this situation, there is a way out.